The ultimate purpose of this DIVA Festive is to elucidate our vision, thereby illustrating the ways in which we, as a divine group, plan to manifest such a vision.
We are at risk of living in a world devoid of pleasure. But first, let us define and unanimously agree upon what pleasures are indeed in danger. Some of these pleasures include: a glass or three of wine or a gin martini, taking naps, long walks, extended conversations...The list could go on interminably. Anything that makes time pass, indolently, like a river, anything that heightens the experience of being wholly alive, and anything that makes living pleasurable and divine qualifies as an endangered pleasure that we must unite in order to save!
1. A DIVA shall be a divine female of the human race and it is precisely because she is a female that she is divine!
2. Every DIVA shall be invited by her Divine Director to participate for one year. A Divine Director should be treated with the respect and adoration appropriate for Divinity.
3. A DIVA shall pay yearly dues in the amount set by the Divine Directors, and by a date set by Divine Decree or she shall not be a DIVA. Do this, if for nothing else, than for the aforementioned cause. For payment of her dues, a DIVA shall be entitled to a carnival lunch with assembled DIVAs, cocktails, a promenade through the Vieux Carré, led by a marching jazz band, and a membership into an exclusive beading circle. (Balcony privileges, lunch and cocktails are for DIVAs only; no guests are permitted in this sacred circle.)
4. By adhering to the rules listed above, you secure the pledge of the DIVINE PROTECTORS OF ENDANGERED PLEASURES, therefore making it possible for you to experience this year’s pleasures as a DIVA. A DIVA shall bejewel herself in a bustier that is fully covered with Mardi Gras beads. There cannot be enough emphasis put on the importance of covering every inch of your bustier in beads, for every bit left untouched by the blessing of a bead undermines our vision as a divine organization who considers beading an endangered pleasure!
5. It is far superior that the bustier be designed and crafted by a DIVA. Please remember that the bustier is the incarnation of pleasure and will be unconsciously interpreted as such by the public eye, those who will in turn experience pleasure when clapping their pleasure hungry eyes upon them. We will save the world one bustier at a time!
6. As a DIVA you shall appear at the appointed time (punctuality is pleasure’s partner...let us not delay pleasure) and location on the route, on foot, in fabulous shoes, and as a Krewe, along with a marching band, at a time and place dictated by the Divine Instigator. You must appear in full bustier, with optional accessories (and optional activity partners, who may be included in the Promenade only) on a DIVA DAY selected by the Divine Instigator.
7. Each Mardi Gras beaded bustier may be worn in successive yearly promenades, but shall never be worn twice on a DIVA DAY by the same DIVA.
8. When in bustier, illegal forms of public indecent exposure by a DIVA are neither necessary nor expected. There are not pleasures to be had in the jailhouse among vagrants and hussies. Though some might consider it a pleasure to bare all and though some will receive pleasure in gazing upon the naked breasts of women, it is precisely this kind of pleasure that endangers the vision and values that make us a formidable force on the front lines in a war against those who seek to destroy pleasure.
9. The DIVINE PROTECTORS OF ENDANGERED PLEASURES, also known as DIVA, founded January 2002, is controlled by a board of directors known as the Divine Directors, and neither its name, nor image may be appropriated or reproduced in any way by a DIVA or non-DIVA without the consent of the Divine Instigator and the Divine Directors, nor shall a DIVA undertake to represent the DIVINE PROTECTORS OF ENDANGERED PLEASURES as a group in any publicly distributed or broadcast media without the proper consent of the Divine Instigator and the Divine Directors.
10. All DIVAs shall submit to the outrageous, but always pleasurable, whims of our ruler the Divine Instigator, dictator for life (or until she gets tired of it). The Divine Instigator shall and will designate divine responsibilities to a DIVA of choice and the remaining DIVAs must comply.